You drive a tough bargain laowai...

So one part of living here that I have yet to master, and possibly may never, is the fine art of bargaining.  Perhaps I'm lazy.  Perhaps I feel like 50 cents US is a really good price for four potatoes and a yellow onion and I'm more then willing to part with it for a delicious dinner. Who knows.  Whatever it is I really do not like bargaining.  When the items are a little larger then vegetables I'm a little more likely to give it a shot, but even when I try my bargaining techniques are not that well developed.  Usually it looks something like this:

shou huo yuan: 28 kuai.

wo: 25 kuai, hao bu hao?

shou huo yuan: hao da.

You can see I'm not getting that great of a bargain.  Although in that example I just gave I did walk away with a free bag of q-tips which I have previously purchased for 1 kuai.  Haha...so really I saved 4 kuai.  

Recently my bargaining skills plunged to an all time low when I made this mistake:

wo: Na ge dongxi dou shao qian.

shou huo yuan: Da ge 16 kuai, zhong ge 12 kuai.

wo: Hao da, wo yao san ge. (1 big plastic container, 2 medium plastic containers)  30 kuai, hao bu hao?

shou huo yuan: sanshisi kuai.

wo: sanshiwu

shou huo yuan: A...Wo shuo sanshisi, ni shuo sanshiwu.  Laughs hysterically.

To recap, I wanted to buy three plastic containers for leftovers so we could quit using up the plastic wrap and save the earth.  In all they should have cost 40 kuai, I tried to ask for 30 kuai.  The shopkeeper blocked my price and asked for 34 kuai.  I drove a hard bargain and said, "No way, I'm paying 35 kuai and not a penny less."  Or something like that.  

If you know of any good bargaining tips let me know...I need help out here!  If you also know how to make your husband quit listening to Cher that information might also come in handy.  For a friend of course, not for me.  

I promise that is what I heard...

Today we were standing in line at the local chaoshi/grocery store next to a large display of Nescafe when I realized that music was coming from the display.  English music.  English music with lyrics that went a little something like this...

Open up your mind and you can be anything you want to be.

If you're a man, you can even be a mother.

The Captain doesn't believe me, but I promise that is what I heard...

In other news if you have ever slumber partied with me, which should only be the female readers of this blog, then you might know that I am an avid sleep talker.  Yes, it's a nice hobby.  Well this morning I received a nice surprise from the Captain when he told me that last night I was sleep talking...in 普通话！ I was shocked and elated!  Maybe all this studying is starting to take root.  My first response, "We're my tones correct?"  He told me he didn't know, he was sleeping...

By the way to anyone who reads this is it more annoying when I try to write what I want to say in hanzi  like this 我想买一个东西。Or in pinyin like this Wo xiang mai yi ge dongxi. 

Did you know...

That a potato ricer makes really good salsa...

That the word zhou can either mean juk/rice porridge or week...but you really need to be able to read characters to know which one is which...

That when you disappoint your spouse it is sometimes hurts you so much that it can be physically painful...like when you don't take their work email out of the auto-fill cache in your mail box...

That imitation crab sticks cost about 25 cents for 10 around these parts...I'm not sure I really want to know why...

That our city recently got cream cheese and that I most certainly ordered two boxes which I look forward to consuming in many different delightful ways...

That I miss friends and family in the states and would love to see my little sister's new hair cut in person...

That I also am really bummed that I am going to miss this...and that if I was still in Dallas I would have my calendar marked and already be planning on what Seattle's Best drink I would be ordering while standing in line to wait for my cookbook to be signed...

That I am now craving a Cherry Amaretto latte...doesn't that sound delicious...

That tonight I am going to a Yoga class taught in 普通话 and that sometimes when I go to Yoga here it involves ropes...

That lately when I've been craving a nice, slow stroll through a bookstore I just go to this website...and that it usually does the trick...maybe if I just make a Nescafe coffee pack I'll have that just stepped away from the Barista feeling...

42 apples...and counting

Today in class my teacher asked: "Ni xiang chi le dou shao pinguo?"  Or something like that...I have a hard time recalling correct word order and sentence structure.  But what I don't have a hard time with is opening my mouth and saying the first thing that comes to mind.  Three seconds later when I realized that no one else in my class planned to answer I opened my mouth and let the first number that came to mind pop out.  Do you know what I said?

Si shi er pinguo

If you read this and know the proper sentence structure for asking how many apples you would like to eat, please reply promptly.  If you read this and actually thought that eating 42 apples was a good idea please reconsider.  If you read this and could relate because you also get random Chinese numbers or phrases trapped in your mind then don't worry, you are not alone.  

Non-Verbal Communication...

There is a little boy who lives in our stairwell who I adore.  He was one of the first kids in our apartment complex to try out his English with me. "Helloer" he says.  He also lets me try out my language with him.  "Ni Hao" I say.  

One time I came home in the rain and bumped into him in the door way.  It actually startled me a bit and so I said, very badly, "Wo bu zher dao ni zai zher."  (I'm not sure that's the correct grammatical structure.)  He just smiled, I think he was scared of me.

Today I saw this little boy and he said "Helloer."  I said, "Hello, how are you?"  I watched him take a deep breath and say "Hello, how are you."  I said, very badly, "Ni shuo YingYu, hen hao." Maybe he understood my sentence, even though I sure it was badly pronounced.  Or maybe my willingness to speak his language brought another phrase to mind because then  he said. "Helloer, I am fine t(S)ank you," and proceeded to bow very deeply.  

You want to know something?  This little boy and I are on the exact same page when it comes to language.  We both want to speak it, but don't always do the best job.  And we both use awkward body language to try and convey meaning when perhaps we should just stand still.  Of course his body language may have been a little more appropriate then mine.  My current body language involves bobbing my head as I try to remember which word to pronounce with which tone.  I look a little weird.  If we lived in India though this probably wouldn't be such a problem.  

My little friend gives me hope though.  And he also reminds me that language is about the ability to communicate.  And the ability to communicate provides the ability to have relationships.  And relationships are why we are here...

The End of the Challenge...

Just to bring you up to date on the liang kuar challenge, formerly titled the liang jin challenge until I realized my language error, the challenge is in fact complete!  The results are in, and the judges have declared it was a success.  And when I say the judges have declared it a success I am using the following criteria as a measurement: Uncle Rico’s taste bud approval and my feeling of satisfaction in using up the entire kuar of tong in just two weeks. Uncle Rico gave the challenge a huge thumbs up, except for the unfortunate basil chicken incident which I will tell you more about it a moment. And my sense of satisfaction was a 10 on the 1-10 scale.  Sadly enough after the challenge I haven’t been as committed to using up all our tong, in fact this morning I threw away a few strands of tong that were sitting on the windowsill shriveled and ugly. 

Here’s where the rest of the original batches of tong (green onions) went.  We had basil chicken that I took from this website because it sounded excellent.  It wasn’t.  In fact it was kind of gross.  But I dare say that anyone who actually has access to fresh basil might really like this chicken, don’t try it with dried basil.  I have sufficiently warned you.

Then I made my Mom’s vegetable soup because Uncle Rico got sick.  He was actually sick for almost a week, which when coupled with the start of school and onslaught of a massive about of vocabulary that needed to be learned, meant that I didn’t feel like making time to blog for awhile.

PS.  Please do not let my Mom know I added green onions to her soup.  My sweet Mom refuses to cut onions and also garlic. Which means that anything she makes usually requires the absence of both onions and garlic.  Growing up I must have had pretty good breath.  I guess I’m ruining that by not taking up her boycott on garlic and onions.  Oh well…

And finally to really make Uncle Rico feel better and because the vegetable soup was running out, I made chicken soup.  The base required white onions, but since I wanted to finish the challenge I used green. 

I’ve been inspired to blog and finish the story of the tong because yesterday a new challenge entered our household called the pinguo (apple) picking challenge! Yesterday we went pinguo picking with the international students at our school and came home with probably 30-40 pinguos.  I lined them up in the kitchen according to size, need to be eaten sooner rather then later and by sweetness.  I figure we have about 2 weeks for these pinguos before they go rotten which means it’s game time.  So far here’s what we have…

My first project was apple sauce, which came out more like baked apples.   Please if you try to make apple sauce cut your apples into chunks not strips…don’t listen to what the recipe says.  On the other hand if you want to try to make baked apples go for the strips, they taste great!

And then I made apple cobbler, which turned out looking more like an apple tart…we decided to from now on call this a cobbler-tart and eat it with lots of ice cream.  Side-note: Do you like the way all my pictures of food are half-eaten?

And because this entire post has been a collection of random thoughts and because I like writing my thoughts on this blog, here are a few more things I’m thinking about today…

1)    When you buy sugar in this country you should ask for bai tang not just tang.  I’m not sure why this is important.  Maybe the da jie at the store has brown and white sugar.  All I know is that every time I ask for it she always asks if I would like bai tang. 

2)    I fortunately will have the chance to ask the da jie for more of this bai tang soon because after I hui lai le (came home) I tried to pour the bai tang into a storage container using a measuring cup.  Unfortunately the measuring cup still had a little bit of water left in the bottom from making apple sauce and now my yi jin of bai tang is a lumpy wet mess. 

3)    When you buy chicken in this country do not ask for a jin amount.  Instead point to the type of piece that you want and ask for yi ge, liang, ge, san ge, si ge, etc. etc. based on how many pieces you need.  I am pretty sure that this is the second time the lady selling chicken has explained this to me, but it’s the first time that it stuck.

4)    This is not a food blog…as you can see from my applesauce and cobbler-tart that if this was a food blog anyone reading it might be sorely disappointed.  Or they might think I’m super creative and start trying to make cobbler-tarts themselves.  If that is the case then they should use powdered milk…I blame the powdered milk on the cobbler tart incident.  Why use powdered milk at all you may wonder.  Well it’s because the only other milk alternative is yucky milk bags.

5)    I personally blame the yucky bags of milk on global warming, the economic crisis, ethnic unrest and other major world problems.  Disgusting, who wants to drink milk that comes from a bag and sits on a shelf.  I much prefer milk that comes from a cow, is placed in a large gallon container and sits on a refrigerated shelf until it comes home with me to sit in my refrigerator.  Unfortunately I am going to have to start buying these revolting bags once again because powdered milk is just not a good substitute for liquid milk.  

6)    Today I was thinking about a point in my life when I thought two things were really dumb.  The first was blogging.  The second was cooking.  Isn’t it ironic that today on my day off that those were the two things I was looking forward to most?

7)    To explain this period of my life when I felt like blogging and cooking were dumb I should say that it was when I was single and lived next to Central Market.  Ahh…I miss Central Market, but that’s another post in and of itself.  It happened to be 2006 and blogging had just became popular.  The only person I knew who blogged also wrote comments on their posts disguised as other people so that it would  look like their blog had readers.  You can see how the combination of Central Market and self-commenters would lead to these two biases against cooking and blogging.

8)    I’m glad that God changes us and helps us grow.  Simple huh? I’m also glad that I’m getting old enough, well kind of old enough, to be able to look back and see ways I’m different then I was before.  It gives me hope that He will continue to change me.  It also gives me hope that someday I will go to the market and actually be able to understand the chicken lady the first time around. 

9)    I am now an international student.  After hanging out with and spending time with international students since 1999 I am now in their shoes.  This is a post in and of itself but I will leave you with this thought.  Being an international student means that sometimes you are privileged enough to pick pinguos with a group of Pakistanis, a bunch of South Koreans, a Japanese dude, a few peeps from Kyrgyzstan, some Romanians, two dudes from Nigeria and a bunch of Americans.  I’ll leave it to you to decide which group spent the majority of the bus ride to the pinguo grove singing and dancing… 

I may not be able to offer you...

Living overseas is a mixture of good things and bad things. This afternoon I spent some time reflecting on some of those bad things. Probably not the most uplifting way to spend my xiuxi (little rest) but still I feel better after identifying what exactly gets under my skin here. And no, it's not the humongous green onions. Then I got online to read a language blog when I stumbled upon this article. If you aren't able to view the video, click here instead.

And I started thinking about what it would look like if this country "DTRed" with me...what would that look like. Then I wrote myself a letter from this country...

Dear Ruo Xi,

So you've been living in my borders for a couple of months now, zenmayang? Do you feel like you fit in? How do you like the food? Will you ever not feel surprised to see raw meat carcasses not only hanging inside the meat market but occasionally hanging by the side of the road as well. Probably not, sorry about that chicken heart in the road a few weeks back, I'm sure that was a shocker.

Are you used to people staring at you? I know it's probably uncomfortable, but don't worry. They are just staring because they think that foreigners have beautiful eyes. At least that's what I'm told. It's ok, because if someone is staring at you it means you get to stare back. And you know the better your language gets the more often you will have the fun experience of responding to what they say while they watch you.

Oh and I know the bathroom floor is always wet because most people aren't into western bathtubes here, the sun really is blinding and riding a bike everywhere can be extremely ma fan, but you know this place really isn't that bad. It may not feel like home yet but I'm sure that over time it will, especially if you let this country prove itself to you.

So while I cannot promise you there will not be spit or human excrement both in the streets and in the stairwell to your apartment, I can promise you that friendly people will always take the time to help you here when you ask. I cannot promise you cream cheese, bagels and mercury free fish, but I can promise you delicious homemade noodles at every restaurant you visit.

Give it time my pengyou, you will feel like you are at home in no time. And until then comfort yourself with the fact that you live in a place where you might just get to see a group of people break out into the dance from Thriller in the middle of the city at any given moment.

With love,
Your new home