I don't want to become my Mom, but she is pretty cool...

A few years ago at Christmas time my Dad commented "you girls all talk just like your Mom." The "you girls" was of course myself and my two sisters. And I, the receiver of the intended compliment, decided to spend the rest of Christmas trying to talk not like myself but whoever else I could think of that didn't resemble my Mom. This should be no offense to my Mom, I was just super crabby that year. Since then I've begun to face the facts, I will slowly over time start to be more and more like my Mom. Someday I might even have her name, Mom, as well as her puffy hand veins.

But this year since I am not crabby I think becoming more like my Mom is kind of cool since after all, my Mom was pretty cool in her own way. And one her cooler Momisms was her cookie tin. As long as I can remember my Mom has always had an island in her kitchen where she can chop stuff and get food ready. And as long as she has had an island there has always been a cookie tin on the island. Inside the cookie tin you can count on finding something sweet that you will want to eat. Sometimes it's something she made. Sometimes it's something she bought. Sometimes it's something someone gave her. But it will always be there.

People know about the cookie tin. My Dad comes home from work, he opens the cookie tin. I remember HT would come over after school and she would always open the cookie tin. Life is just a little nicer with a cookie tin. When you come home after eating Mexican food and the cookie tin is there to greet you and help reduce the onion taste in your mouth you know that life is good.

In our apartment here in Asia we do not have a cookie tin. The Captain does not know that he wants a cookie tin for Christmas, but this is what he wants. Do you know how I know? Because this is what he asks me "Hey, do we have any cookies?" "You know those snickerdoodles you made were really good, are there any left?" "Man, I really want to eat some cookies." "Wow, if this whole room were full of cookies right now I wouldn't be mad about the mess, I would just eat them." See, he wants a cookie tin.

And so, Mr. Captain, for Christmas this year I am getting you a cookie tin. It won't always be full of snickerdoodles and other homemade cookies, but I promise you I will try my best to keep it well stocked. There is just one thing I ask on your part. Please do not eat all the cookies in one day. I'm asking for two reasons: 1) You'll get sick 2) If you eat all the cookies in one day, not only will I be becoming my Mom, but you will be becoming my Dad.

It's 11 pm...

Tonight I fell asleep on the couch at 8:30. I woke up around 9:30 when the captain told me it was time to go to sleep. Around 10:30 I got up once again because I couldn't sleep. I probably should have just stayed on the couch. And although A) it's not the middle of the night B) I'm much more lucid then lately when I've blogged and C) I'm intimidated by blogging after discovering a friend's blog that is totally beautiful, I've decided to write a post.

I blame the weird sleeping patterns on two things: 1) stress and 2) language learning. One of my classmates today told me that as he falls asleep at night random lists of words will run through his mind. I could completely commiserate since approximately 58 minutes ago this was what was running through my mind as I tried to go back to sleep.

si ge yue, ni zhi dao, wo zhi dao, yi hou, ran hou, yi qian, yi bian, yi bian...

Which translates to...

four months, you know, I know, after, then, before, while, while...

Apparently sleep is really good for language learning because the words you learn get lodged into the wrinkles in your brain, probably creating new wrinkles as well, becoming a part of you and then eventually spewing from your mouth in either intelligible or unintelligible sentences meant to convey meaning to people around you. At least this is how I explained it to my classmate today as we commiserated together about the words running through our brains.

It's 3 AM...again...

I woke up almost an hour ago because I dreamed that I was being given something that wasn't mine. I tried to take it and give it back, but then it stuck to me and started burning. I woke up trying to peel it off my chest and put it on the floor next to me. Somewhere in my dream battle I turned on the lamp by my bed and blinded myself by looking directly at it. After an hour of tossing and turning finally my husband said "please stop moving around, please stop moving around, please stop moving around." Being the astute women that I am, and recognizing that if someone starts to speak in threes they must really mean it, I took the hint and got up to make a cup of tea.

Why can't I sleep well? It could be a number of things. Anxiety. Questions in my mind not answered. Lack of resolution that seems to drag on for months. Exhaustion. Too much language crammed in my brain. Shouldn't these things help you to sleep well?

In honor of my last 3 am visit to my blog here is a list of things I am thinking about:

1) My friend TW has been blogging her grateful list based on a challenge from this blog. It's pretty convicting and challenging to choose to list 1,000 ways you are grateful for the life you have been given. I really appreciate TW's vulnerability in doing so. I feel more grateful for my life each time I read her list. Not because her life is so horrible and it makes mine look great in comparison or anything like, things are going pretty well for both of us, but just because it reminds me to be grateful.

2) I kind of wish I had brought a copy of It's a Wonderful Life to watch this Christmas. Or maybe Elf. I love Christmas movies.

3) I have a teacher named M laoshi. No matter what she is doing she approaches it with the utmost urgency. If you ever saw her take attendance you would know what I mean. I'm not sure if this is her personality or because of her role at the school. She has the task of monitoring all the liuxuesheng's which has to be difficult since the Korean students recently broke a window at a local restaurant and ended up at the police station, the Pakistani students never come to class on time, h1N1 has not bypassed the foreign students building and this American student is a little teed off about the suggestion of class on Christmas day.

4) I love M laoshi. She recently asked me to be interviewed on TV in 普通话 about American holidays. Before I knew it I said yes. Partially because I love her, partially because she asked in 普通话 and I am not sure if I really understood what I was getting into. This was a really miserable experience. (Oops, so much for gratitude). I now have one standard answer for all requests involving recording equipment that is not my own...NO. This will also make my husband happy since he receives the brunt of my stress.

5) M laoshi is someone I am grateful for. M laoshi is someone who I hope knows Him one day because she can see the difference in her students who know Him too. I hope I am one of those students.

6) I don't like to step on anyone's toes who might feel different then I do, but since I feel strongly about this I will just go ahead and say it. I equate Sarah Palin with fingernails on a blackboard. And I am completely put off by Amazon listing her book at the top of the Kindle page. How am I suppose to browse the bookstore in peace if I have to see her book listed? I suppose that Barnes and Noble would do the same and I should overlook this slight. But since B&N offers delicious beverages at outrageous costs it helps me move on to bigger and better book browsing more quickly. I'm sure Amazon would also extend this hospitality to their customers, but since they are an online company it does make it tricky to offer anything hot.

8) It's easy to forgive Amazon very quickly...they give away a lot of free Kindle books. And for that I am especially grateful! I heart you Amazon, your Kindle and your free Kindle books. Please keep asking publishers to give away free books...the reading public needs them!

9) I love my husband. I know I sometimes pick on him in my blog, keep him awake at night, and complain to him too often. But don't judge my actions, judge my heart!! And it is full of love.

It is now 4 am and after an hour of blogging, chatting and browsing I am a little sleepy. I hope this is the last of my 3 am blogging. These posts come out a little to raw for my taste. I promise to move on to blogging about happier things, like something funny that happened at the market or something interesting I read lately. Or maybe I'll just continue to make lists.